Dadpack Digest, V19 🏈

If you’re worried about going bald one day, all it took was getting a C in math class for Justin Fields. The Chicago Bears quarterback recently told the “Pardon My Take” podcast that his dad shaved his head as punishment in the seventh grade.

As much as it sucks to lose your hair, now you can blame it on being bad at algebra.

This Week From Dadpack

• 📕👶 Read to your baby everyday: It seems like they’re not listening, but there is evidence that regular story time can make all the difference for healthy child development.

• 🗞📰 In case you whiffed it: All the news you missed because you were doing an impression of your kid’s toy shelf.

• 🥾🌳 The best outdoor gear to buy at REI right now: Even if you miss their Presidents Day sale, you’re still getting a lot for your money. (But don’t miss their sale.)

• 🥱😴 The importance of boredom: It’s not your job to entertain your kid, but it is your responsibility to teach them how to deal with being as bored as you are.

Books Are For Babies

Reading to a drooling infant can feel like a fool’s errand, but a new study shows that just the opposite is true. Children who were read to daily during the first year of their lives experienced faster language development.

The parents who enrolled in the study agreed to read to their newborns everyday from two weeks of age to 12 months. In exchange, families were given 20 books designed to support early development (see below).

Likewise, researchers also assessed infants language development at 2 weeks, and 2, 4, 6, 9, and 12 months old. Results revealed that children who were read to every day scored higher on tests of language development.

"One book each day is an easy goal for new families to try. To see that there is a measurable improvement in speaking and understanding before one year old is very exciting," study co-author Adam M. Franks, M.D., said in a statement.

Emily K. Franks, a speech-language pathologist who co-authored the research, added that "While our team is excited about our findings, the real winners are the participating children and families in this area that have been benefited from the bonding experience of experiencing this co-reading through their participation in the project.”

So if you want to prepare your kid to be a Chatty Kathy or Gabby Gary one day, start with stories like Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? and Goodnight Moon.

Even if it doesn’t seem like they’re listening at a few weeks old, it matters what you say. So don’t use story time as an opportunity to go off script and vent about your day. That’s your kid, not your therapist.

Good News, Dad News

• 💉🤔 Sen. Bernie Sanders called it an “amazing coincidence” that just as the Senate was calling for the pharmaceutical giant Moderna to testify about drug prices, they decided to offer free vaccines to uninsured Americans. That’s one way to a get free round of shots.

• 🪦📱Michael Bourque, a 55-year-old inventor and engineer from Boston added a glow-in-the-dark QR code to his late father’s grave, so people could scan it and read about his life story. It’s a sweet idea, but there is something about looking at your phone at the cemetery that feels disrespectful.

• 🍆🍌 Despite repeated warnings that men’s sperm quality has declined globally, new research from Stanford University indicates that penises have increased by 24 percent in the past three decades. Given that other studies have linked infertility to smaller penises, the findings do not make a ton of sense. It might be time to go back to the drawing board of dicks.

• ⛳️😬 After outdriving Justin Thomas on the ninth hole at the Genesis Open, Tiger Woods slipped him a tampon as a bit. Not everyone was bloody amused, including Olympian Michael Johnson, who called out Woods and his half-hearted apology. But to be fair, Woods learned something. He learned where to get a tampon.

A Great Deal For The Great Outdoors

Whether you’re looking for new camping gear, running shoes, or finally springing for a basketball hoop in the driveway, a trip REI can be as aspirational as it is practical. And now all of your outdoor recreational dreams have become more attainable with a sale up to 60 percent-off.

However, if you want to fit-in with the other REI dads when you visit the store, the following online deals are a great place to start.

The North Face ThermoBall Eco Snow Triclimate Jacket

Depending on where you live, this 3-in-1 is available is a little heavy for running errands in February. But at a tremendous mark-down from $360 to $251.93, it’s a great investment for next winter.

“Always toasty warm, and man I didn't know when I took out the liner jacket how sick it would actually be to wear alone,” one reviewer said. “I had this thing on while it dumped 4 feet in a day in Tahoe and was totally warm skiing. The skiing was not that sick but the jacket was.”

He means sick in a good way.

Columbia Ballistic Ridge Jacket

This full-zip fleece is on sale for $77.93 (originally $130), and it’s the perfect jacket for transitioning seasons. One review says it all – “I feel like a happy, wooly bear when I put this on, and I enjoy it thoroughly. It looks good, feels better, and cinches to keep the wind out. This is my new go-to outerwear.”

Bear down.

Patagonia Classic Retro-X Fleece Vest

With the reduced price of $95.95 marked down from $159, the retro fleece is great for vest newbies, as one review attests. “This is my first foray into vests and so far, I'm very impressed. Keeps your arms free but your core warm. For a fleece, it also does a surprisingly good job of blocking wind. The pops of color are really tastefully done to tie it all together. This is a staple piece that should be in everyone's closet. Highly recommend.”

Don’t be shy. Be a vest guy.

Parting Paternalism: Let Them Be Bored

Growing up, you may have heard it in the form of a dad joke from your own old man. But as the saying goes, if you’re bored, that means you are boring.

Claudia Skowron, a mental counselor, recently broke this down in less harsh terms for Psychology Today. Between screens and helicopter parents, kids these days are not allowed to be bored anymore.

As Skowron explains, boredom teaches children how to tolerate frustrations, which is a very important skill to bring into the world. Being able to sit with boredom helps kinds develop natural mindfulness practices, without having to download a meditation app like neurotic adults.

In turn, letting kids be bored can make them more creative and imaginative, because they are left to entertain themselves. This can foster better problem-solving skills later in life, and lead to a stronger sense of self-overall.

So how do you inspire boredom in a world of instant gratification and constant stimulation? Scheduling down-time as a part of your regular routine is a good place to start. It sounds easy, but it can be challenging if you’re used to being busy all the time.

Sure, it might be weird to see “being bored as hell” on the family Google calendar, but hopefully your spouse can appreciate that you’re finally using it.