🚨 The Male Fertility Crisis

Dadpack Digest, V 4.2

Dear Dads,

If we had to place a bet, we’d wager it’s been quite the week so far. From Des Moines to Worcester, parents across the midwest and east coast are sliding into shoveling season with the first snow of the winter, and it's far from the "cold one" you were hoping for.

On top of that, there has been a double-digit increase of the cost of Thanksgiving foods like turkey, potatoes, and stuffing that seems wildly unfair and Scrooge-adjacent – not to mention the travel nightmare ahead of you. In fact, Thanksgiving travel is projected to reach nearly 98 percent of pre-pandemic volume, AAA reports.

So why bother? To see your kid taste pumpkin pie, meet their cousins for the first time, or experience any of the nostalgic wonders from your childhood through their tiny eyes, of course. In the meantime, focus on what really matters: the declining quality of sperm globally, or why babies don't seem to feel cold. (But you still have to dress them for that anyways.)

No matter what mistakes you make this week, none of them will be as glaring as the recent Olympic mascot selection: a hat that also looks like a part of the female anatomy.

But hey, at least it’s not a fedora.

This Week From Dadpack

• What guys need to know about the global decline of sperm: Even if you're done relying on your swimmers, the massive new study has implications for child development and hormonal health.

• Childhood obesity can change your brain: Yet another great reason to model and maintain healthy eating and exercise habits for the good of your kid.

• Why babies never seem cold: Along with a few expert-driven tips for bundling them up anyways.

• Never trust your children, but especially via text message: If you're not careful, you might end up with a second dog your kid won't help with.

We Are Swimming Into A Sperm Crisis

Traditionally speaking, referring to your kid as a “miracle” is more of a mom move. But when you consider the data on men’s sperm, dads might want to think about taking the “m” word for themselves. After all the weed smoking, drunken jacuzzi soaking, and hot laptop use of your younger years, it’s pretty unbelievable that anyone can make a baby outside of a test tube these days.

If the sound of a “sperm crisis” sounds familiar, that’s because it is. The same team of researchers published a meta-analysis in 2017 that suggested that the sperm counts had declined by more than 50 percent among men in North America, Europe, Australia, and New Zealand between 1973 and 2011.

The more recent deep-dive into over 250 studies on sperm quality found that sperm counts have declined about 2.6 percent every year from 2000 to 2018, “which is an amazing pace,” Hagai Levine, an epidemiologist who led the research, warns.

Although Levine and his colleagues had hoped that “at some point the decline would be leveling off,” he told National Geographic. “The opposite may be true, and we may cross a tipping point when most men will be sub-fertile or when the causes of this decline will also manifest by other adverse health trends.”

For some dads, this confirms that your wife was right about not waiting any longer to make the kid you already have. But while you graciously take that L, the findings raise a few questions for couples who are hoping to expand their families. For one, if you’re having difficulty conceiving, the data challenges the old assumption that infertility is primarily a women’s issue.

Historically, women have been more likely to seek out medical help for infertility, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a man's problem too. Other studies estimate that about one-third of fertility problems are due to the woman alone, one-third are due to the man alone, and the remaining third is a result of both people. So if you can’t seem to conceive and assume you’re fine, that’s just bad math. And more importantly, it might be time to get those swimmers checked.

For dads who might want to expand their families at some point in the next few years, but have your hands full of dirty diapers at the moment, it’s crucial to look at your sperm health as an extension of your overall health.

To put it in perspective, studies show a higher risk of hospitalization for men who had lower sperm concentrations. Particularly those with a concentration below 15 million/mL experienced a 53 percent increased risk of being hospitalized for any reason, compared to men with concentrations between 51 and 100 million/mL. The association between sperm health and regular health remained strong even after scientists controlled for smoking, weight, and other variables.

The key is figuring out a way to not let parenthood get in the way of taking care of yourself, which is easier said than done. If that doesn't work, there is some evidence that switching from boxer-briefs to boxers, or going commando, might improve sperm health. But hanging loose could upset the neighbors though, so remember to read the room.

Unfortunately, scientists suspect that the broader trend of poor sperm health may be a result of factors so far out of your control that they occurred in your mother's womb. Namely, prenatal exposure to chemicals like phthalates and bisphenol A in plastics can disrupt the development of the endocrine system. Not only can this decrease the size of a boy’s penis, but it can also hinder his testosterone production and sperm production throughout their lives.

Ultimately, this may be one of science’s crueler twists for parents. If you’re lucky enough to get your partner pregnant with a deck stacked against you, these chemicals are almost impossible to avoid in our modern world.

In other words, you get to worry about your son's sperm much earlier than your thought — maybe before you even meet the guy.

For more information on your sperm health:

The Unfortunate Neurology Of Childhood Obesity

Childhood obesity can be hard to talk about as a parent. The last thing you want to do is say the wrong thing and mess up your kid’s body image and self-esteem. But over the past 30 years in the U.S. the childhood obesity rates have tripled, according to the Harvard T. Chan School of Public Health. Today, approximately one out of three children is considered overweight or obese.

Now a new study published in the journal Cerebral Cortex, underscores why you’re not a bad dad for being concerned. Brain scans of 258 children considered obese and 265 children who weighed within a healthy range, showed that children who struggled with obesity had less gray matter in their brains.

Why does gray matter matter? Well for one, it has been linked to executive functioning, or the ability to plan, focus attention, remember, and juggle multiple tasks. Declines in gray matter could lead to decreased motor skills and overall cognitive functioning. Researchers suspect that if obesity goes unaddressed, memory impairments could make children more prone to overeating.

That said, if you are worried, telling your kid to stop being overweight is one of the worst things you can do for them. Instead, the ultimate dad move is to model good habits. Eat healthy meals, only keep healthy snacks in the house (to minimize the amount of times you have to say "no" in a day), and exercise regularly. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for your kids' growing brain.

How To Bundle Up A Baby

One of the creepier things about babies is that they don’t seem bothered by the cold weather, like, at all. It's unsettling as hell and it's not in your head, but there is a reason for it.

Infants can lose their body heat up to four times faster than adults, and young children are at a greater risk for hypothermia compared to adults, because their bodies are smaller. But you won't hear any of them crying about it, because they have more brown fat (a special type of tissue designed to keep people warm) than grownups do.

And since your baby can’t tell you when they're cold either, this makes it harder to know how to dress them for the weather. But despite their fat baby bodies, you still have to bundle them up well, pediatrician Dr. Alison Mitzner explained to Fatherly.

Mitzner advises dressing them in a basic onesie, pants, a long-sleeved shirt, a sweater or sweatshirt, along with a coat or snowsuit. If you’re going out in footie pajamas, she also recommends doubling up on socks as well.

“Always have gloves or mittens, hat, and boots,” Mitzner added. “Every child — and adult — needs a hat in the winter weather. You lose a good percentage of your body heat from the head.”

To put it simply, bundle up a baby the same way you would bundle up yourself, and there's no need to bring Randy from the "Christmas Story" into it.

That is, until you get to the carseat. Then it’s a whole other set of complicated stressors. To make sure you get it right, check out the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines on coat and carseat safety, which essentially state that bulky coats are not the best for buckling up.

Either way, make sure to keep a blanket in the backseat.

Parting Paternalism: Never Trust A Kid, But Mostly Yours

Developmental psychologists suspect that children can start lying as young as 3 years old, but are more likely to engage in some level of recreational deception by the age of 6. So it’s not entirely surprising that a British 9-year-old is already a pro, after tricking his dad into getting a second dog by impersonating his mom via text message.

More specifically, the clever Noah Ley reportedly took his mom Janine’s phone, opened the messaging app WhatsApp, and sent “hi hun” to his dad Kevyn, with the subtlety of a rookie undercover cop. Still, it worked, partially because the family was already mulling over the idea of getting a second dog to keep their cocker spaniel named Jet company.

In the end, it makes sense to take conveniently cute viral moments like this with a grain of salt. But if Noah did pull off a good enough ruse to result in his new puppy Lulu, we salute him and his white lie.

Or, for those across the pond, a white porkie.