🧠 New science says your toddler is smarter than you

Dadpack Digest, V6

Thanksgiving is over but most of us are still grateful you're here. In this newsletter, we explore why your toddler is smarter than they look, and often a faster learner than you are.

If only they could learn to get a job.

This Week From Dadpack

• 🧠 Are you smarter than your toddler?: Neuroscientists have discovered why children can absorb new information faster than adults.

• 📰 In case you missed it: All the news dads can use but don't have the time or energy to doom-scroll for.

• 🛝 No, you don't have to play with your kid: Sometimes, your toddler prefers to catch up with their stuffed animals in peace.

• 🏌🏻‍♂️ Jason Gay's tumultuous relationship with golf: And a look at the sports writer and humorist's new book "I Wouldn't Do That If I Were Me."

• 🧘🏼‍♂️ What to do when you want to disown your family: As one dad learned, it's important to find a safe space to express your feelings, even if that space is the internet.

Why Your Kid Learns So Much Faster Than You Do

You don't have to watch the the game show "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" to get the sense that your kid picks up on some things that you don't understand as quickly. Whether it's learning a foreign language or figuring out how to unlock your iPhone at an alarmingly young age, these tiny humans are pretty damn sharp.

Scientists have known for some time that around the age of two, different pathways start to form between neurons in the brain called synapses. By the time kids approach age three, they have approximately twice as many synapses compared to adults. As a result, young children absorb everything around them like a sponge.

Now researchers have discovered another mechanism behind to their seemingly super-human learning: the neurotransmitter γ-aminobutyric acid, otherwise known as GABA.

“What we found is a rapid increase in GABA in children, associated with learning," lead author of the study Takeo Watanabe said in a press release. Watanabe, who is also a professor of cognitive and linguistic sciences at Brown University, was taken aback by these findings.

For one, GABA helps people manage impulsive behaviors, and children are typically thought to have less GABA compared to adults, which explains their lack of impulse control. But adults have been found to need a "cooling off" period after learning new information, meaning that if you try to learn something else without taking a beat, that new information won't stick. Neuroscientists refer to this as "retroactive interference."

By analyzing the brain scans of adults and children ages 8 to 11, the researchers found that while kids have less GABA than adults, they experience a surge of GABA when learning something new. In contrast, the GABA levels of adults remained the same whether they were learning or not. Scientists suspect that this spike in GABA neutralizes retroactive interference in children. Since no such cooling off period is needed, rapid learning can take place.

So you're not dumber than your kid, just more hot-headed.

In The News

• 😷 The World Health Organization and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are calling measles an "imminent threat" due to a growing number of parents opting out of vaccinations.

• 🙋🏼‍♂️ What the f– is Freudenfreude? The opposite of schadenfreude, the practice of finding joy in other people's success has a lot of mental health benefits, if you can learn to master Freudenfreude.

• 💸 Despite reports that Black Friday deals would not justify the psychotic shopping habits of past seasons, consumers spent a record $9.12 billion online and Cyber Monday sales are projected to top out at over $11 billion. Discounts on Lego's 2022 Advent Calendar, along with the Happiest Baby Snoo Smart Sleeper Bassinet, are among the best deals for parents.

• 💊 Ibuprofen could be making your knee pain worse, according to a new study. Researchers found people who took nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs for arthritic knee pain actually experienced more inflammation and weakened cartilage.

• 🦨 The Tampa Bay Buccaneers blew a seven-point lead in the second half and lost to the Cleveland Browns in overtime on Sunday. But Tom Brady wasn't stinking up Cleveland's FirstEnergy Stadium nearly as much as the literal skunk scurrying around the stands. Who knew Pepé Le Pew was a sports guy?

Dude, Do You Even "Sittervise"?

Most dads have been there. You go through all the trouble of crawling into your kid's princess castle, fort, or any other small space, and then they immediately lose interest, walk away, and you're left feeling like a total idiot.

As much as that may sting, the impulse to play independently is developmentally appropriate. It is also the latest parenting trend, the Washington Post points out. The delicate art of kicking back and letting your kid play by themselves is known as "sittervising." Coined by Susie Allison, a former teacher and early childcare expert, to sittervise simply means to not hover and sit in a chair nearby.

Although sites like Motherly refer to sittervising "genius," the idea of backing off might not be that groundbreaking. But it's worth noting that play is an essential part of how kids learn, and intervening to help or teach them lessons can interrupt this process.

So not only are you better off chilling out in a chair instead of a castle, your little Princes and Princesses are better off too.

Rec of the Week

Jason Gay is not just a Wall Street Journal columnist, he is also a father of two who's written about everything from fertility struggles, to dining with young children. And over the years, Gay has learned the value of his own "blunders" that he details in his new book "I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were Me: Modern Blunders and Modest Triumphs (But Mostly Blunders)."

Perhaps none of these mistakes were as big as his choice to get back into playing golf early on during the Covid-19 pandemic — "a sport invented for the grim purpose of torturing psyches and making otherwise well-balanced people miserable," he writes.

If you relate to Gay's love-hate relationship with golf, check out the full essay and purchase his book here.

Parting Paternalism: Venting is Self-Care

The phrase "trigger warning" rarely resonates with dads, until it is followed with the words "thermostat abuse." A recent post on Daddit from the username "Hi hungry, I'm dad" struck nerve with fellow fathers by doing just that.

In every responsible patriarch's true nightmare, this dad set his thermostat to a responsible 68 degrees... only to come home to a gust of wind that was so warm it fogged up his glasses. But his spectacles weren't too smudged to read the horrific number 74 on his thermostat.

Then, he found his wife and kids dressed like they were ready for a beach vacation, welcoming him home. But instead of losing his temper, he "went downstairs, turned on Hawaiian music and put one of them flower necklace things on, then I stepped outside to watch the electric meter run and compose an apology to my father for the sins I committed as a child," he wrote.

As infuriating as parenting can be, this dad did exactly what he should do. He didn't scream at his family. He took a minute for himself to be pissed, and carved out time to express himself with a rant that reads as dad poetry.

The lesson? Sometimes you have to vent a little to be a good parent, even if it means threatening to disown your entire family on the internet.

Polling Your Leg