👨‍👦How Covid-19 Changed Fatherhood

Dadpack Digest, V15 📱

If you're looking to get out of your group chat, Allison D'Orazio's father has a script for you to reuse. After posting a screenshot from her dad opting out of the D'Orazio family's text chain on Twitter, the viral response was clear: dads cannot stand this type of tedious communication, nor should they have to.

And for that reason, we are out.

This Week From Dadpack

• 😷🏠 How dads won the pandemic: While no one wants to go through March 2020 again, new research suggests that the additional parenting responsibilities fathers took on have proven to stick.

• 🗞📰 In case you missed it: All the news you missed this week because your toddler projectile vomited all over the newspaper and hid your phone.

• 📫📦 The best presents for yourself: It's hard to know how to treat yourself when you're busy taking care of everyone else, unless you know where to look.

• 🍿👼 When you turn your back for five minutes: You already know your kid is going to make a mess, the question is, how creative will that mess be?

How Covid-19 Changed Fatherhood

There are few upsides to parenting in a pandemic, but making men more present in the home might be one of them, according to data from the UK's Office for National Statistics. While some of this may have been due to layoffs, one in nine stay-at-home parents were dads in 2022, compared to one in 14 parents 2019.

It wasn't just men who lost their jobs who stepped up. The research similarly showed that working fathers spent 65 percent of the time working mothers did on childcare in 2022, up from 54 percent in 2014 to 2015. While mothers still take on the majority of parenting responsibilities, men are picking up the slack (and the the kids) in a way that has become more of a permanent stasis.

The study itself interviewed men with kids once in 2016 and again in 2021 in the middle of quarantine. "We found the men’s care roles had proved highly durable," researchers wrote. Whether it was job loss from the pandemic, job loss in general, moving houses, or the birth of another child, study authors define these as "crossroads moments." And even when such changes seemed temporary "their unusual roles had become routine, expected and enduring."

Of course, mothers are still expected to take on a disproportionate amount of childcare responsibilities, but it's not necessarily the fault of fathers. Particularly when it comes to decision-making, as schools, daycares, and other institutions often default to communicating with moms, studies show. "There are many obstacles to enabling more fathers to share childcare at least equally with their partners, and to ease the challenges for families," the researchers added.

There is still room for progress to be made, but to imply that fathers are not adapting to changes for the sake of their families is simply untrue. Additional surveys from The Fatherhood Institute confirm that 65 percent of partnered fathers felt that lockdown improved their relationships with children and 48 percent said they felt more competent as parents afterwards.

To be fair, the findings may be a little annoying to the many dads who were doing a great job long before the pandemic. Regardless, it's nice to know that all the gray hairs you sprouted weren't the only silver lining of lockdown.

Good News, Dad News

• 🔥🍳 After Richard Trumka, JR., a commissioner on the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said that the government is considering stricter regulations on new gas stoves, republicans interpreted that as Biden taking their current stoves away. This was not the case, Trumka clarified, but his initial statements gassed a lot of people up.

• 🌊 🏥 Peyton Hillis, a former Arkansas and NFL running back, was released from a Florida hospital this week, after saving his two daughters from a "swimming accident." Unfortunately, the heroic dad move landed him in the intensive care unit on a ventilator. The close call is a crucial reminder to watch your kids when they swim, and thank your own father for always looking out.

• 🤕🎒 Keeping kids home from school after a concussion may slow their recovery, new research reveals. In the past, experts believed that concussed children should be put in a dark room to rest. But the recent findings suggest that as long as kids are not at risk for getting another head injury while they're healing, maintaining their routine as much as possible may lead to a better outcomes.

• 🎸💔 After the death of singer David Crosby on January 18th at the age of 81, fellow musician and friend Melissa Etheridge expressed gratitude for him being the sperm donor to her two children, in addition to four children of his own. Crosby, who died after a long battle with an undisclosed illness, will be missed by more than Etheridge, but his entire family, friends, fans, and all the wooden ships on the water.

The Gift Of Knowing Where To Tell People To Shop For You

Whether it is for a birthday, Valentine's Day, or any other special occasion, men are notoriously hard to shop for, and that can include knowing what you want for yourself. So why not outsource it to someone who's not your spouse?

From outdoor gear and kitchen gadgets to clothing and grooming tools, Bespoke Post curates some stellar products for men from small brands throughout the country. Their online shop is open to anyone who's interested in buying the men in their life better presents. Guys can spoil themselves with one of several subscription boxes for $70.

Obviously, this is a little steep for dads, but when you become a member (for free) the same boxes featuring a flight of cigars, a folding Damascus knife, or the more family-friendly a traveling s'mores kit (complete with portable fire) cost $49 a month. It might be hard to justify spending nearly $50 a month on yourself, but when you consider the fact that you can skip months, switch boxes, and cancel at anytime, it's not the worst way to indulge in a little self-care.

So go ahead and think inside the box. You're worth it.

Parting Paternalism: All Children Are Filth Angels

All children are blessings. You might even consider them to be little angels, especially when you turn your back for five minutes and they make the shape of one in whatever mess they can find.

One dad on Reddit recently learned this the hard way when his kid made popcorn angels on the carpet while watching the movie "Ice Age" — likely as a distraction so he could make dinner, or switch laundry, or go to the bathroom. The lesson is that when toddlers are quiet for too long, it's because they're up to something that will make you want to scream and vacuum at the same time.

Another important takeaway? When you finally teach your kid how to make snow angels or sand angels, don't forget to explain that it's an outside activity ONLY. Otherwise it's a matter of time before they turn into little devils.

Polling Your Leg